5 Ways Lucifer Most Certainly Did Not Fall
by Sanity's-overrated
Summary: And 1 Way He Did... total crackfic showing 5 ways Lucifer could have fallen and the one that actually happened Hinted Mikifer in later chapters
1. Lucifer Really Doesn't Want A Fiddle

A/N: I have no idea where this came from...ok that's a lie, I was chatting with HyperKid via Twitter and we started coming up with things Lucifer might have done that caused him to leave. I decided to write it up, because well i got a really funny idea and I wanted to write petulant Lucifer so here it is, 5 cracktastic ways Lucifer didn't actually fall from grace, and the 1 way he did

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1. In Which Lucifer Really Doesn't Want A Fiddle

Lucifer looked up at his father eagerly, body slightly vibrating in anticipation.

Today he was getting a gift. The content of said gift remained unknown, but it had to be good, after all he was Dad's favorite.

He was the most beautiful of his brothers, wings a shimmering white with a golden hue, his hair sandy blond, and eyes a stormy shade of hazel, he truly was magnificent, and Daddy loved him best!

Michael, the perfect soldier, could never please Dad, regardless if he followed every order, and he had still been presented with his very own lion's den. Gabriel, who often drove Dad to his wit's end with his crazy antics and whacked out plans, had been bequeathed a sterling silver trumpet, handcrafted by Father's own two hands. Raphael, well who cared about Raph, he was a dick; Dad should have sent him to reform school.

But surely, his gift, would be better, it had to be. He was Daddy's little boy and if his brothers had received such lavished gifts, his would have to be 10 times better…minimum.

"Lucifer, my boy, I've got a special gift for you."

Lucifer most certainly did not bounce in joy. Nor did he beam up at Father, flashing a 1000 watt smile, but rather he coolly nodded and gave a small smile. He really did, don't listen to Gabriel, he was dropped on his head after all.

"Yes Father," his voice was steady, no edge of excitement and definitely no cracks.

Dad reached behind his back and pulled forth…a violin?

"This is a fiddle son, its gold plated, I melded it myself."

Lucifer looked at the instrument dubiously, blinking he moved his gaze between the "fiddle" and his Father's face.

"I don't want it."

"Lucifer, this is a gift!"

Shaking his head, Lucifer backed up. "Nuh-uh, I don't want it."

"Lucifer, take your gift."

"No!"

"Lucifer, I worked very hard on this, now if you don't take it-"

Crossing his arms over his chest, Lucifer shook his head vehemently, "you can't make me!"

"I can," was the cold response as Dad stepped forward to Lucifer. "Now take your fiddle son and go to your room."

"No Dad, I. Don't. Want. It."

"Room now," Dad roared pushing the fiddle forward.

"No!"

"Lucifer, if you want to get out sometime this millennia, I suggest you take your fiddle and go."

Hands clenching into fists Lucifer shook with rage. Face turning red, Lucifer stomped his foot down glaring up at Dad.

"I'm leaving," he cried turning around and marching towards the door.

"What?"

"Leaving!"

"Lucifer, you get back here this instant! Lucifer, do you hear me? You walk out that door and that's it!"

"Still leaving," Lucifer sang marching more determinedly towards the door.

"Don't you dare take one more step!"

"Or what," Lucifer sneered turning around.

"Or…you're cut off!"

Lucifer rolled his eyes, _fat chance_, "You're going to have to do better than that Dad."

"Lucifer! I'll send Michael after you, don't think I won't."

Lucifer barked out a laugh, "I'd like to see you try."

"Lucifer!"

"Bye," Lucifer called out waving a hand as he walked through the exit. Then stopping momentarily, Lucifer turned around to face his father. "Oh, and you can keep your damn fiddle and shove it," and those were Lucifer's last words in Heaven.

God stood dumbfounded staring at the spot where his second oldest once stood.

"Damn, perhaps I should have gone with the Kazoo like Gabriel mentioned."


	2. Archangels Are The Original Beatles

A/N: ok here's part 2, in this case the archangels are actually a band on the verge of breaking up and Michael and Lucifer continue to fight. Also I'd like to say that I don't necessarily hate Raphael...but hey he smote Cas so he's not exactly my fave angel that being said, it's fun to pick on him and write him as the brother everyone loves to hate

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2. In Which The Archangels Are The Original Beatles

Gabriel watched on in a mixture of awe and fear as Lucifer's playing came to a grinding halt and he fixed Michael with a death glare.

"What was that you were saying Michael," his brother's name isn't so much as spoken as it was spit out like an insult.

"You're flat Lucifer; it's clashing during the chorus."

Eyes narrowing, Lucifer tilted his head, "flat? Oh yea, maybe you're just sharp, ever think of that?"

Michael shook his head, "no, not possible, I have perfect pitch."

Hands moving off the neck of his bass guitar to let the instrument hang, Lucifer moved his hands "oh excuse me Mr. Know-it-all."

"Hey guys, maybe we should-"

"Shut up Raphael," both Michael and Lucifer shouted turning to glare at their younger brother who was sitting behind a drum kit.

"Don't you yell at him," Michael snapped turning back to Lucifer.

"Me, what about you," Lucifer retorted.

Michael frowned glaring at Lucifer. "It's different."

"Different how? Did Dad create a new definition for yelling while I wasn't paying attention?"

"No, but-"

"Then I fail to see how what you did is any different," Lucifer cut in starring accusingly at Michael.

"It's different because-"

"La-la-la-la…"

Michael turned to see Gabriel with his hands clamped on his ears, eyes squeezed shut, from his perch on one of the amps, his legs were swinging like a child as he continued to babble a slew of nonsensical syllables, increasingly getting louder as they progressed.

Lucifer brought a hand up to his face pinching the bridge of his nose "what is he doing," Lucifer hissed trying to will away the headache he could feel lurking at the back of his mind.

Michael shrugged looking exasperated, "I don't know?"

Clearing his throat Raphael raised a drumstick hesitantly. "He hates it when you two fight, so he's trying to block you guys out."

"Oh," Michael's eyes widened with realization.

"Can't he block us out more quietly," Lucifer grumbled.

Raphael shrugged, "he used to just play his horn, but I think he misplaced it…"

Michael glared at Lucifer, "don't you dare blame him; it's our fault he's babbling."

Rubbing his temples Lucifer mumbled "more like your fault."

"I'm sorry, what was that? You're going to have to speak up a little," Michael spoke looking at Lucifer.

"I said, more like your fault. There, was that loud enough for your perfect pitch?"

Michael's eyes flashed as he pushed himself off the stool he'd been leaning on. "My fault? You were the one off key!"

"Barely," Lucifer shot back hotly.

Michael barked out a laugh shaking his head "so you admit it, you were flat!"

Hands dropping to his side, Lucifer rolled his eyes, "5cts is hardly flat Michael."

"It's still flat Lucifer!"

Gabriel chose that moment to begin strumming randomly at his guitar as he increased his babbling, pointedly keeping his gaze fixed at the ground.

"Now look what you've done," Lucifer hissed.

"Me, you're the one who started yelling!"

"Guys-"

"Shut up Raphael!"

Slumping in his chair Raphael crossed his arms, "no one ever listens to the drummer," he mumbled.

Taking off his bass guitar, Lucifer turned away from Michael "I'm leaving."

"Leaving? Where," Michael sputtered staring as Lucifer unplugged his bass and began to pack away his things.

"I don't know, away from you," Lucifer snarled over his shoulder.

"But you can't go, we need a bass player," Michael cried.

"Call Zachariah, but I'm out."

Gabriel's playing halted and he turned his eyes to Lucifer, "but Zach's a grade-A douche!"

Lucifer's gaze softened slightly as he looked at his younger brother, "hey kiddo, I'm sorry, but I can't stay here."

"Why," Gabriel asked worrying his bottom lip.

Lucifer sighed rubbing the back of his neck, "I don't have perfect pitch," he quipped sending a look to Michael as he clicked his case close.

"But-"

"Sorry Gabe, I'll see you around yea?"

Nodding Gabriel looked on as Lucifer snapped his fingers and vanished from the room.

"We can be a trio," Raphael suggested after a few moments of silence.

"Shut up Raphael!"


	3. Kazoos Are Not Romantic

A/N: You can blame HyperKid for the idea of Lucifer and a kazoo, but honestly it's quite funny. I like to think of Michael as being pretty anal retentive and Lucifer more laid back so they clash constantly.

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3. In Which Lucifer Discovers Kazoos, Are Not Romantic

Lucifer smiled at the plastic toy in his hands; it was perfect! He couldn't wait to show Michael his new toy.

Bringing the plastic toy to his mouth, Lucifer gave an experimental blow, delighting in the noise that was produced; a fine buzzing pitched a little high. Lucifer quickly noticed how depending on the speed of his air stream, the pitch would change; the sound would drop lower with a slow stream or whine higher with fast air.

Smiling, Lucifer pulled the toy away noticing an engraved word along the toy's front; 'Kazoo'.

Nodding thoughtfully, Lucifer pocketed his new toy, kazoo, he reminded himself, and took off in search of Michael.

He found him in the Hall of Records, pouring over a text quite focused on his task, so focused in fact, that he hadn't even realized Lucifer's appearance.

Grinning Lucifer edged closer, pulling out his kazoo as he moved, what better way to show Michael his new toy, than by demonstration?

Wetting his lips, Lucifer brought the kazoo to his mouth and started playing an aimless tune.

Michael jumped from his seat with an undignified yelp. Turning around to glare at Lucifer, Michael's frowned "what is that!"

Grinning broadly, Lucifer dangled the kazoo in front of Michael, "this? This is a kazoo."

"A kazoo?"

Lucifer wrapped his fingers around the kazoo and nodded "yep, a kazoo."

Quirking an eyebrow, Michael stared at Lucifer. "And just what are you doing with this…kazoo?"

"Serenading you."

Michael scoffed, "you call that serenading?"

Looking put-out, Lucifer shrugged "well yea, why, don't you like it?"

Michael shook his head, "Luce, it sounds like a bee stuck in a bottle!"

Frowning, Lucifer looked down at his kazoo, "well I rather liked its sound."

Rolling his eyes Michael sighed, "you would."

"Oh, and what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you haven't got a single romantic bone in your body, so it figures you would think that infernal buzzing would be appropriate for serenading."

Lucifer crossed his arms over his chest, "oh and I bet you could have done better."

"Of course I could have."

"Really," Lucifer bit out raising an eyebrow, "and just what would you have picked to serenade me with?"

Michael sighed rubbing his forehead, "anything but that," he spoke pointing at the kazoo accusingly.

"Like what?"

Michael shrugged, "I don't know, the usual; an acoustic guitar maybe?"

"That's rather boring of you," Lucifer scowled, "I at least thought to be creative."

"More like annoying," Michael mumbled.

"You don't like it?"

Shaking his head Michael looked at Lucifer, "no, I don't like it."

Nodding Lucifer pocketed his kazoo, "ok then," turning away he started to walk off.

"Luce, where are you going?"

"I'm leaving."

"What, why?"

"I'm going somewhere that people appreciate my kazoo playing," Lucifer called out as he descended the stairs.

"Are you coming back?"

"Will you let me play my kazoo," Lucifer asked turning to face Michael.

Michael hesitated in answering and Lucifer gave a curt nod, "that's what I thought. Goodbye Michael," he spoke turning around and pulling out his kazoo.

Michael watched his brother leave playing Silent Night on his kazoo.


	4. Lucifer Doesn't Do Backing Vocals

A/N: Honestly I had too much fun writing this chapter, what between having diva!Lucifer and then the songs they sang.

I reasoned it in my head that up in heaven they know everything, so they wrote every song before it came into existence down here on Earth, and apparently by that logic, Michael is a Beatles fan, and Lucifer can rock Nancy Sinatra

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Lucifer glared from his perch on an overturned amp, as Michael sang the opening verse. This whole mess was stupid. Why should Michael get to sing lead vocals?

_"Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly, a girl with kaleidoscope eyes,"_ Michael continued to sing bobbing his head in time with the beat.

Strumming rather forcefully, Lucifer's bass line came off like an elephant stomping around on the savannah, earning nasty glares from Michael who looked about two seconds from lunging across the room and smacking Lucifer across the back of his head. Rather than play the line correctly, Lucifer just intensified his pout and continued strumming more haphazardly.

Mixed in with the heavy notes, which now started to fall behind with the song's tempo, came the beginnings of feedback from Lucifer's sloppy playing. It wasn't that Lucifer was lacking in abilities for a physical confrontation, hardly, but where Michael was involved, the most damage came from being passive aggressive, so Lucifer continued his silent pouting, slowly sabotaging the song.

_"Cellophone flowers of yellow and green, towering over your head…"_

Lucifer's fingers slipped bringing forth a wonky dissonant chord that clashed quite colorfully with Gabriel and Michael's own chords. Smiling softly as he ducked his head, Lucifer couldn't help but think Michael was going to crack soon, and it would be spectacular!

_"Look for a girl- _Ok stop everyone, that's enough," Michael yelled throwing his hands up in the air. Turning to glare at Lucifer, Michael raised his chin defiantly, "and just what is your problem Lucifer?"

Looking up with the most innocent face he could muster, Lucifer smiled, all pearly whites and absolutely no believable innocence in the gesture. "Whatever do you mean Michael?"

Scowling Michael crossed his arms, "you know exactly what I'm talking about Luce."

Gabriel looked between his older brothers tentatively, slowly releasing the neck of the guitar and raising his hands in preparation to cover his ears if their yelling got to be too much. Man did he hate their fighting, and the kicker was they always fought! Some days, Gabriel just wished they'd go ahead and bone and get rid of all that tension between them so they'd stop fighting and everyone could be happy again.

"Oh, does this have to do with my playing? Was I doing something wrong Michael?"

Frowning in only a way that Michael could pull of, the eldest archangel stared pointedly at Lucifer. "You know that you were Luce."

Placing a hand on his chest and giving a sigh of shock, Lucifer's eyes widened in mock surprise, "why I wasn't aware, tell me Mikey, just what was I doing wrong?"

Raphael sighed crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall behind his drum kit. Practice was going to be a long one after all, there was no such thing as a quick run through where Michael and Lucifer were involved, and it was stupid to think it was even possible.

"What's your problem Luce? You were fine until we started playing this song."

Crossing his arms, Lucifer rolled his eyes looking down his nose at Michael. "I just don't understand why you get to sing lead."

Michael gave an exasperated laugh, "that's what this is all about? Lead vocal? Really Luce?"

"What, the song is called Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds for crying out loud!"

Gabriel nodded thoughtfully, "Luci's got a point bro that is the name of the song."

"But you sang Helter Skelter and Blackbird, why do you have to have this song too?"

"It's got my name in the title, maybe if it was Mikey in the Sky with Diamonds you'd have a greater claim, but it's called Lucy."

Raphael tapped his cymbal to get their attention between their fight escalated too far. "Lucifer, you know the range is different, this song is in Michael's range, and if you were to sing it, we'd have to rewrite the entire thing in a different key."

"I can sing in a higher range," Lucifer quipped taking off his bass.

Rolling his eyes Michael sighed, "What are you doing Luce?"

"Proving a point," he responded toeing off his converse.

"And that point would be," Michael asked running a hand through his hair in disinterest.

"Just watch," Lucifer murmured as he snapped his fingers and was now sporting a pair of leather cowboy boots and Wrangler jeans with his own flashy belt buckle and a fitted black button down. "Gabriel, hit it," he called with a point to his younger brother.

Giving a mock salute, Gabriel grabbed for Lucifer's relinquished bass and began playing an all too familiar line as Lucifer took his cue and started a metered strut to the beat.

_"You keep saying that you've got something for me," _he sang pointing at Michael as he approached his older brother. _"Something you call love, but confessed,"_ he continued in a teasing lilt as he began circling around the prone archangel.

Raphael shrugged at his brother's behavior and figured, well practice is practice, and picked up his drumsticks joining in on the song with Gabriel. Besides, the scowl forming on Michael's face as Lucifer twirled around him was worth helping pitch in on Lucifer's efforts.

Stopping a few feet in front of Michael, Lucifer put his hands on the fronts of his knees, bending over slightly, shaking his hips to the slow rhythmic beat as he crooned, _"You've been messing where you shouldn't have been messing," _hands sliding up his knees to rest on his hips Lucifer grinned up at Michael, as he gave a full body shimmy. _"And now someone else is getting all your best."_

Begrudgingly, Michael moved his fingers to the neck of his own guitar and joined in with Gabriel and Raphael, strumming along. Shaking his head he stared hard at Lucifer, who was beaming as he ran a hand down one leg, bending it at the knee to show off his boots, before lowering his leg to the ground and starting up his strut once more, really hamming it up, throwing a flirtatious wink in Michael's direction as he moved in closer to his older brother.

_"These boots were made for walking, and that's just what they'll do," _Lucifer sang as he moved directly into Michael's personal space, grin still plastered on his face. _"One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you,"_ Lucifer finished bringing up a hand to poke Michael in the chest as he sang those words.

As Gabriel's bass line started up again, Lucifer took a jump back and began to dance to the beat, his hips shaking as he moved to the beat all smiles, while Michael looked on not amused in slightest by his brother's antics.

With one final shake of his ass, Lucifer doubled over laughing, "See, I told you I can do a higher register Mikey!"

Michael nodded, "yes you can Luce, but I'm still singing the lead on this song."

"What!"

"You heard me," Michael spoke evenly, "I wrote it anyways, so why shouldn't I sing it?"

"B-but, it's got my name, and my song and dance routine, wasn't that proof enough?"

"Luce, it was lovely, really, but I want to sing the lead on this one."

"Why?"

Michael groaned grabbing at his hair, "did you ever stop to think that maybe I'm singing it for you Luce?"

"Oh," Lucifer spoke slowly, "no I hadn't. Well are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Singing it for me?"

"Oh right, yea I am," Michael spoke hastily.

Shaking his head Lucifer reached for his leather jacket, from where it was folded across one of the amps. "You're totally lying Michael."

"Are not!"

"You totally are."

"Am not Luce," Michael grumbled.

"So you didn't just say that to get me to stop asking about lead vocals?"

"…no," Michael spoke hesitantly.

Throwing his hands up in the air Lucifer turned around, "really Michael, have you sunk that low?"

"But Luce, it's such a great song, and I could sing it for you, if you wanted?"

"You shouldn't have to ask that Michael," Lucifer yelled as he shoved his arms into his jacket.

"Well, do you?"

In response, Lucifer turned up the collar of his jacket and turned away from Michael. Boots clicking against the linoleum floor, Lucifer threw his hands to the side of him, palms up, and tossed his head back as he cried out,_"Are you ready boots? Start walking," _as he sashayed out of Heaven leaving Michael with his jaw on the floor.

"Gotta admit, he had style," Gabriel spoke forlornly as he watched his brother disappear on the horizon.

Raphael nodded then paused, cocking his head to the side he looked over at Michael then back to Lucifer's retreating form, "so I take it practice is over then?"

"Shu-"

"I know, 'Shut up Raphael', I got it believe me," Raphael moaned slumping back in his chair.


	5. Lucifer Is A Possessive Toddler

A/N: Well this is the last bit of the crack ways Lucifer takes his leave, and I have to say that I really wanted to go out with a bang of crackiness...except somewhere along the way this got incredibly angsty and it's not like I even tried to do that. I swear it's like my subconscious is pushing me towards steadily increasing angst because it knows what I have planned for the and 1...ah well here's chapter 5 for you guys

Thanks for the reads, and hopefully Lucifer's childish antics brings some laughter before the whole bittersweet aspect clicks into place in this chapter.

Reviews=LOVE

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5. In Which Lucifer Is A Possessive Tantrum Throwing Toddler

Michael rubbed fruitlessly at his forehead, there was no use trying to stave off the blinding headache he could feel creeping up on him. Sighing he cracked an eye open to look at Lucifer, who was perched on a chair, and when would he ever learn that feet went on the floor not the seat of said chair, glaring at Gabriel who was happily sucking on a cherry lollipop completely oblivious to impending doom.

"Luce, stop glaring and just sit down already."

Frowning, Lucifer shook his head, "he's in my spot."

"Spot," Gabriel chirped brightly around his lollipop as he flashed a smile at his older brothers.

Scowl deepening; Lucifer gave a harrumph turning his head away from Michael as he crossed his hands over his chest. All he need was to be tapping his foot and he'd be a model picture for brooding brothers everywhere!

Cradling his head in his hands, Michael sighed, "it's not like it has your name on it Luce."

Grumbling Lucifer reached across Gabriel and pushed away the napkin container to reveal underneath a patch of wood that had been picked away at and held his name etched across the top.

"You were saying?"

Eyes widening, Michael looked up at his younger brother scandalized, "Luce, that's vandalism!"

"'s my spot," Lucifer pouted.

"Luce," Michael started in his _'I swear I'm dealing with a three year old'_ voice, "you sit there all the time."

"Exactly," Lucifer cut in turning his gaze on Gabriel, who still remained oblivious.

"So couldn't you just let Gabriel sit there, just this once," Michael continued trying to reason with Lucifer and keep himself from pulling his own hair out in frustration.

"No!"

Sighing Michael slouched back in his chair, looking up at Lucifer exasperated he shook his head in an almost _'please enlighten me'_ sort of way as he asked "why not?"

"It's my spot."

"Oh come off your spot," Michael growled.

Pulling the lollipop from his mouth with a resounding pop, Gabriel looked up questioningly, "should I move?"

"No!"

"Yes!"

Glaring at Lucifer, Michael repeated, "No Gabe, you just sit there."

"But it's my spot," Lucifer whined stamping his feet on the seat as he threw his hands up in the air.

"And right now, it's Gabriel's," Michael spoke calmly.

"I can sit somewhere else," Gabriel spoke looking between his brothers as they continued their death-stare match.

"Yes!"

"No," Michael snapped looking at Lucifer in disbelief, "it's a chair Luce, what's so important about a chair?"

"It's my chair," Lucifer grumbled refusing to look at Michael.

"Oh yeah, prove it then."

Glaring, Lucifer stood up from his perch moving behind Gabriel and gripping the back of the chair. Giving a forceful tug, he pulled the chair out from under Gabriel, sending the young archangel flailing forward with a yelp.

"Lucifer," Michael yelled as he reached out to catch Gabriel.

Ignoring his brother, Lucifer turned the chair around to face Michael instead and pointed at the center of the headrest where engraved in loopy script was his name.

"This proof enough?"

"Luce, that's just more vandalism," Michael cried running a hand along Gabriel's back to soothe the younger angel.

"It's a form of art," Lucifer shot back indignantly.

"You're just scrawling your name on things that don't belong to you."

Frowning Lucifer's eyes dropped to Michael's wrist, "I want it back."

"What?"

"I want it back," Lucifer repeated in a clipped tone.

"I don't know what you're talking about Luce."

Reaching across the table, Lucifer tugged back Michael's sleeve to his elbow and wrapped a hand around his brother's wrist. "This, this is what I'm talking about," Lucifer hissed pointing at the leather braided bracelet adorned with a metal clasp engraved with the name Lucifer on the center. "Give it back."

"No, it's my bracelet."

Hiccupping, Gabriel rubbed at his eyes, "but it has Luci's name on it."

Smile straining as he looked at Gabriel, Michael spoke softly "true, but he gave it to me." Extracting his wrist out of Lucifer's grasp, Michael folded his arm against his chest, "so it's mine."

"Give me the bracelet Michael."

"No, it was a gift Lucifer, you can't take it back."

"So am I still just 'scrawling my name on things that don't belong to me', or is this different?"

Huffing Michael stared crossly at Lucifer, "you know that it is."

"How," Lucifer bellowed, "it's my name on my things!"

"Don't you dare objectify me," Michael hissed, his cheeks burning red in his angered state as he glared across the table.

"Didn't used to bother you before Michael," Lucifer smirked. "Being called mine," he drawled flashing his gaze to the bracelet before smiling at Michael in a sickly sweet way that was more for spite than anything.

"This isn't about that," Michael spat. "This is about that stupid chair and that stupid spot and you trying to prove a point any possible way you can."

"So, you're admitting the chair and the bracelet are related then?"

"No, I'm not," Michael cried.

"Well, then what?"

"You know what, here," Michael ground out ripping off the bracelet and hurling it across the table at Lucifer. "Take your stupid bracelet."

Smirk falling and morphing into a scowl, Lucifer picked up the bracelet and stood up. "Fine, I'm taking my bracelet and I'm taking my chair, and I'm leaving," he spoke evenly.

Grappling to get a good grip on the chair, Lucifer turned on his heels and began walking towards the door.

"Luce! Come on, don't be like that," Michael called after his brother. "Don't go, you can get the window seat! I'll have Gabriel sit by me," Michael cried out.

No response, Lucifer continued walking simply hoisting the chair higher to grip better.

"I'll wear the bracelet!"

Stilling, Lucifer turned around, "You obviously didn't really want to wear it in the first place, so don't try and make me feel better by throwing out a pity offer," he hissed.

Michael's mouth opened, but no sound came out. He tried to say _it was stupid_, _a mistake_, _he was angry_, _he didn't actually mean it_, but all that came out instead was silence, and when he did finally find a voice as Lucifer turned away from he, he could have just kicked himself for what tumbled out

"Don't be such a baby Luce."

Stopping mid-step, body tensing, Lucifer's hunched shoulders straightened out as he clenched his hand in a fist around the bracelet before letting it fall to the ground with a soft thud as he continued walking to the door with his chair.

Gabriel tightened his hold on his brother as Michael watched numbly while the door clicked shut behind Lucifer. Looking up at his brother, Gabriel brought his lollipop up to Michael in an offering.

"No it's ok Gabe, I'm…fine," Michael whispered pushing away the lollipop and letting his head fall back as his eyes closed.

Gabriel nodded drawing the lollipop back to his mouth and burrowing closer next to Michael, and if his brother's cheeks were covered in tear tracks or his eyes red rimmed and puffy when he looked up a few minutes later, well he wouldn't say a word.


	6. Every Crime Deserves A Punishment

Title: 5 Ways Lucifer Most Certainly Did Not Fall & 1 Way He Did

Pairing: Michael/Lucifer

Rating: R

Summary:Lucifer's fall from grace is less of a slow descent of more of a raging storm

Warning: implied relationships, implied angelcest, angst, broken wings, heartbreak

A/N: First off so sorry for the long delay, my muse completely left me and then last year was just crazy, honestly it's amazing I got written what I did, in fact I'm going back to try and finish up all my incomplete fics, I just started with this one because I had it half written so be prepared for updates

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Lucifer always knew he was fated to fall, knew that one day his questions would get the best of him, but he never thought it would turn out like this. How a simple creation could cause so much discourse, how a slight difference in views would cost him so much.

God created the Earth; he made the stars in the sky and the rivers down below. He put the animals on Earthly soil and the birds up in the sky. He molded the angels in all their perfection to live up in Heaven just as he made the humans to dwell on the Earth below.

Lucifer had seen these humans for what they were; flawed creatures destined to tarnish the perfection that his Father had created. They were creatures who craved power, needed to rule and take over their surroundings. He was sure they would destroy the beautiful Earth Father made for them, but for the life of him he could not understand why Father still loved them.

But he held his tongue, they were Father's pets and if he wanted them on Earth then that was that. It wasn't until Father called the angels together asking them to bow down before them, to love them more than Him. Now this Lucifer could not stand for, these beings were imperfect; it made no sense to bow down to them.

He spoke out, refused Father's orders. How could he possibly bow to these _hairless apes_ these flawed, murderous creatures, how could they ever compare to Father? Let alone putting them before Father would be an outrage, and Lucifer refused flat out to do so.

Rather than bow he chooses to take a stand. He gathers followers to help his cause, and prepares to fight because he knows there will be a fight; he just wasn't expecting one of this magnitude.

But the thing that hurts the most about all of this is the fact that when he looks to Michael for support, his brother won't meet his gaze. It cuts him deep because he always thought Michael would back him, but it turns out he was wrong. Still Michael does agree to meet with him, and while Lucifer knows the chances are slim, he thinks that maybe he might be able to change Michael's mind.

They meet one last time before the final battle; hidden away from the split armies of heaven, in the dead of the night.

When they meet Lucifer bows his head words tumbling out fast as he pleads to Michael one final time.

They don't have to do this; they can run away, be together, leave this life behind. All they need is one another, nothing else matters, and he just wishes Michael could see that. That he could understand.

He looks up, blue eyes wide; words left unspoken shining through.

_I need you_

Michael is silent, he knows if he answers he'll break, and that just can't happen right now. He has a duty to fulfill, and he can't, he can't take this for himself. He has a plan to follow, a calling, and no matter what he wants, what his heart calls for, he has orders.

_Please brother…_

Michael turns away, he's close to his breaking point and he just can't. He needs to stay strong.

Lucifer drops his head in defeat. He grants himself a few moments before his eyes are steeling over and he's vanishing in the night leaving Michael to his thoughts.

Michael wishes that they could have parted on better terms, but the fact still remains, Lucifer is disobeying Father's orders and as much as he loves his little brother, that cannot stand.

It's why when they meet on the battle field he doesn't hold back, he comes at Lucifer as if he were some evil force and not the brother he'd taken care of, the one he loved more than any other, even if he wasn't supposed to have favorites. He treats Lucifer as an outsider as he exchanges blows with him, but he can't bring himself to deal out the last one.

And while Lucifer screams at him, a fire burning behind blue eyes, eyes filled with so much hate that it hurts Michael to look at him, he just can't end his brother because somewhere behind the hate and pain radiating in those pale blue orbs is his brother; his Lucifer, his Morningstar, and he just can't kill him.

He lets his blade fall to the wayside once he's got Lucifer pinned to the ground, his own blade out of reach. He looks down with such despair, this wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to spend eternity together, to be happy, to love, and yet, here they are, battered and bruised, a bleeding mess in the middle of a battlefield; it wasn't supposed to be like this.

Michael knows what the punishment was for all the other angels who turned away from Father, who chose to fall rather than listen to orders, and it breaks his heart to know that he'll have to dole out the same treatment to Lucifer, but an order is an order.

His hands are shaking when he sees Lucifer again after the battlefield is cleared, when his brother is bound and collared like some wild animal. He knows what he has to do, but that doesn't mean he wants to do it, really he wishes he could say no, but he's followed every other order and to turn this one down would be hypocritical of what he's been fighting for this whole time so he pushes down his wants and plays his role as soldier.

The first break is messy; his hands are still shaking slightly as he takes Lucifer's white wings in his hands and bends the first one at an awkward angle. Lucifer yowls in pain; it's like nothing Michael's ever heard, and nothing he ever wants to hear again. He doesn't have to look to know that Lucifer is crying, his screams come out choked with each sob that wracks its way through his body, but Michael pushes on, he only wishes Lucifer didn't have three pairs of wings.

By the time the last wing is broken, falling limply along Lucifer's back, the angel screams have subsided to hoarse whimpers. His cheeks are stained with tears, eyes glassy with the amount of pain he's been pulled through, bottom lip trembling when Michael comes around to face him.

_You did this to me._

Michael knows he's to blame for the anguish filling Lucifer's eyes, the utter pain streaked over his brother's face, but it had to be done, he was just following orders…

But that's not the end for Lucifer, for he's the leader of the rebellion, the archangel who turned from God's word, who fell to questions and anger, no broken wings were just the beginning.

Michael clenches his jaw averting his eyes for fear of breaking down and crying before he turns to his lieutenants and gives a small nod.

In an instant they are at Lucifer's side hauling him to his feet with no regard to the whimpers falling pass the angel's lips at how the jostling moves his wings, shifts them in uncomfortable angles as they carry him. They don't care about the pain Lucifer's in, he's caused them enough pain in the form of fallen brothers; both in faith and those whose bodies scattered the field all because of the Morningstar's jealousy. It's why they show minimal care as they put Lucifer into his cage, the one to seal him till the end of days.

Michael watches as Lucifer is pushed into the cage; how his body crumples to the floor still in too much pain to really move, wings fallen uselessly to the side of him, bent in ways that Michael knows must hurt, but every crime deserves a punishment and this is Lucifer's.

He watches as the cage door is bound shut and the key or rather keys are doled out to the Horsemen to make sure that Lucifer remains locked away as penance.

And just when Michael thinks his heart couldn't possible break anymore, he feels Lucifer close his grace off to him. Instead of the warmth and love he once felt, the inviting grace that had changed to pleas and desperation to be joined is now nothing more than a cold slab of nothing blocking Michael from him for all eternity.

Michael does break then, silent tears falling as he watches the cage be lowered down to the Pit, knowing that the last image he'll ever have of his brother will be one of anguish and betrayal. He thinks it might be his own penance for having even briefly thought about refusing an order of Father's.

Lucifer's fall from grace is less of a slow descent of more of a raging storm; the love and affection that once surrounded him in heaven is ripped away and replaced with the harsh cold of hate and burning anger that threatens to consume him in the pit, and left in the wake of this storm lay the remnants of a once powerful bond is shattered over obedience.


End file.
